Regression

After graduating college, I decided to move away from the state I grew up in. A large part of what motivated me to leave was my falling out with the Ex. There’s nothing like running thousands of miles away from your problems, is there? I was also graduating with no concrete plans or solid prospects, so I saw no reason not to uproot.

The day after I settled in, I was online talking to the Soldier when I receive a message from none other than the Ex. He asked if I had really moved, and I sarcastically replied "Oh, you didn’t get the memo?" I wasn’t wholly receptive to this sudden invasion on my life, because aside from a few rogue messages over the summer, we hadn’t spoken in about 4 months.
And then he dropped the bombshell.

Those three little words.

No, not those.

"I miss you."

Who does that? After months of torment, I had finally laid all of my feeling for him to rest and made peace with what happened between us. I wonder if he’d still be coming to me with this if I hadn’t moved away. I can’t tell if it’s genuine or if it’s a game. I don’t now if he’s just trying to see how tight his hold on me is and see how much control he can exercise. Is he just sensing that in a new place, I might actually have the chance to be happy and he has to swoop in and shit all over it?

I can’t pretend that I hadn’t imagined this exact scenario playing out in my head. That I would move away and suddenly he’d wake up and realize how badly he’d fucked up and hurt me, and come crawling back, trying to insert himself back into my life.

I didn’t tell him about the Soldier. They weren’t really friends, but I’m sure the fact that he was also on the team would cause for some unnecessary drama, even though he’s in Iraq now. I don’t think I ever will. Not that it’s any of his business anyway.

He calls me or messages me daily to tell me he misses me.

And the worst part is…

I’m pretty sure I miss him too.