Pimping Internationally

"You know this song?" a male coworker of mine asked at the bar on Friday as Johnny Cash's "I've Been Everywhere" played overhead. "It was written about me."

"You know Ludacris's 'Pimpin' All Over the World'? That was written about me," I replied without missing a beat.

And so begins the first entry of the world's reigning international pimpette. (To clarify, countries in which I've gotten any kind of action include the U.S., Italy, France, Czech Republic, Switzerland and Canada.)

I once was involved with a guy who said he kept track of states he'd earned. You earn a state by hooking up in a state, with someone who went to college in a state, with someone who currently lived in that state, or with someone who lived in that state for at least a year.

Here we go.



create your own visited states map

By the same parameters, I post you Europe:



create your personalized map of europe

You know what? Looking at that, it looks like a lot less. But comparably, I guess I have a lot of notable hookups, geographically speaking.

Looks like someone needs to plan a trip to Greece or the Midwest.

And there comes the issue of quantity vs. quality once again. Quite the dilemma for Samantha Jones. If you're spending all your time trying to rack up points, bending over backwards for the sake of making that mental (or in my case, literal) checkmark on a fictional (or in my case, real) chart of hookup goals? Is it really vital to get the hot dad, the minor celebrity AND both Indian races (ie: dot and feather), not to mention the elusive midget?

Well, I've thought about it. And I've experienced it. I've hooked up for the sake of adding to my numbers, even though I knew it was destructive.

And it's worth it.

So far. I may change my mind someday.

All over the world, baby, it's only right I share my experiences with y'all, cause I've been places y'all never imagined....