This will not end well.

I wish I had updated about Alabaster. Maybe I will, someday; maybe I won't. At any rate, he came over, we hooked up, it was great, and it faded into nothing, much as it had before.

Quite a bit has happened recently.

I quit my job. Because of that, there's a good chance that I won't see Alabaster again. We'll see what happens.

Anyways, I like my new job.

After a few days at my new job, I knew the truth: I would not do anybody here.

That made me so happy! That door cah-lozes! I wouldn't have to worry about work awkwardness.

That was, until this week. He's not a part of our office. He's one of our clients. We work together, but we don't.

Um....

If you find someone cute....and you guys make plans to hit the clubs together....do you think that you would be able to control yourself?

I don't know.

I don't trust myself. I've never trusted myself. I know myself, and I know that as soon as I have a few drinks in me, I will throw myself at him. He has a girlfriend. Either something unforgivable will happen or I'll end up embarrassed. THIS WILL NOT END WELL.

Sexy Texts with Alabaster

I've written a good amount about Alabaster. He is a coworker of mine who recently became one of my supervisors -- though not my direct supervisor. He made sure of that by telling HIS supervisor that he couldn't have me on his team because we have a "pre-existing personal relationship."

We hooked up three times about a year ago. Each time was wonderful. Then never again. In retrospect, I think it was a combination of things, but mostly that neither one of us wanted to be the one to make the move to initiate things again.

In the past year, we didn't see each other much, though I quite often drunk texted him. I'm very attracted to him, and he's always been in the back of my mind, though I haven't always admitted it to myself.

Like on New Year's Eve, when I started flirtatiously texting him even though I was in a relationship with the Hott Waiter -- a relationship that had only officially begun (initiated by him, of course, and blissfully agreed to by me and then confirmed on Facebook) a few days beforehand.

I was so embarrassed after that night, I immediately deleted every message exchanged between the two of us.

I ignored Alabaster for a while after that. Then the Hott Waiter and I broke up a few weeks later -- now a few months ago.

Then things started getting flirtatious again.

More tipsy texting. (Am I starting to drink too much?) He told me that "pre-existing personal relationship" thing. Then one day at work, I spent a while talking with him about Las Vegas (he goes there often) and Miranda and I both actually called him later that night to further discuss the hotel where we should stay and tried to convince him to come to Vegas the same weekend as us in June.

On Sunday night, I went over to my friend Emelia's house. She works with me and Alabaster, and she lives in the neighborhood adjacent to his -- I'm about a 20-minute drive from either. Emelia and I are very close and she has heard TONS about my history and feelings for Alabaster.

While watching House reruns, my phone vibrated with a text message. I opened my phone and my mouth fell open. I looked at Emelia.

"Alabaster?" she said.

"Yes!" I gasped. My heart raced. So few people can do that to me.

Alabaster: "[Your hairstyle] is intense"

(I had changed my Facebook status to "Samantha has [a crazy hairstyle]" and I had imported a note with an image of my hair and makeup look from the night before, the night during which I tried to make myself look nice for Nature Boy or any other prospective hookup.)

Me: "It's still pretty big"

Alabaster: "thats funny...are you going to try to maintain the look?"

Me: "Well, i see i have a fan!"

Alabaster: "Hahaha...i think i have to see it in person before i would consider myself a fan"

Thus began the texts. He was at the movies. Emelia and I squealed with each incoming text message. The messages were spaced out every couple of minutes, but I tried to wait longer than he did!

At one point, I became so nervous about the meaning of these messages that I became nauseated and started shaking. I begged Emelia for a piece of organic fruit; she brought me soy milk and crackers. That did help.

At one point I told him that I was amused that he was texting random work people while at the movies.

Alabaster: "i also love that you refered to yourself as a random [work person]"

Me: "Not so random, eh?"

Alabaster: "Not so much"

The movie would be ending around 12:15 AM, so I told him to give me a call when he got out. He told me he would.

Emelia and I started screaming.

To be continued....

He has a kid, and, the latest

Here is the latest news on the multiple guys I am dating:

1) The Cowboy: We haven't seen each other since the night at his house, but we have talked on the phone a few times.

The situation is the same: I love talking to him and we have AWESOME friendship chemistry. However, I don't feel any desire to be more romantically involved with him. I have to figure out how to tell him how I feel.

2) The Busker. We haven't talked since that one time we went out, but he emailed me (though I didn't respond), thenI got a bit drunk and texted him with "How YOU doin?" How Joey Tribbiani of me.

We talked a bit this weekend. He revealed that he has a seven-year-old daughter staying with him this week. I've never dated someone with a kid.

3) The Math Guy. This is a guy from college. (He majord in math.) He's a year younger than me and living in our city now. He's always had a slight thing for me. Once during college, things got flirty and I kissed him a few times, then realized it was a mistake when he was trembling and realized it meant more to him than it did to me.

Things have always been moderately flirtatious, but I'm not sure what I want with him.

He keeps asking me to go out with him and get some drinks, and we made plans for the next week. However, he had health problems (??) and asked me to postpone our plans. I'm not that interested in him, but I'd like to hang out with him.

4) Alabaster. The guy from work that I wrote about in a recent entry. This part is major.

In my company, I work for my company's biggest client. The client is so big that we have two divisions: the elite and the not-so-elite. I will call the elite division Division A; the other is Division B.

I was promoted to Division A within a few months. Alabaster was promoted a few months later. Several months after that, he was promoted to a manager of Division B.

(Personally, I find that my company tends to promote straight white guys, a minority within my company, much more than any other group, but that's another topic for another time.)

I found out today that Alabaster was promoted to manager of Division A. That means that he will technically be one of my managers. I will retain my current manager, but she is one of four managers within my division. For that reason, Alabaster, will be one of my bosses.

I wasn't at work today, but I spent time with a very good friend from work, "Emelia," who told me the news. After a few drinks (I had SEVERAL today, and considering that it's Monday, that therefore makes me an alcoholic), I started texting him. As usual.

I texted him congratulations on his new position, and joked that I couldn't believe that he was my new boss. After a few texts, he called me. I was in the bathroom at the time.

As soon as I got back to my seat (after multiple margaritas at a Mexican restaurant, we were tossing back Blue Moons in a total dive bar), Emelia told me that Alabaster had called while I was away. I called him.

He answered.

We talked for several minutes and discussed his new position at work. I congratulated him. He was gracious. And then he totally told me something that I didn't expect. This is as close to verbatim as I can remember:

Alabaster: "I told [my boss and your boss's boss] that I couldn't have you on my team because it was a conflict of interest."

Me: "Are you serious?!"

Alabaster: "Yeah. I told him that we have a 'previous pre-existing relationship.'"

Me: "You told [your boss and my boss's boss] that?! He's so weird! There's one only thing that can mean!"

Alabaster: "Well..."

Look. It has been WELL OVER A YEAR since we hooked up.

That conversation gives me hope that something else could happen. As I always remind myself when it comes to all relationships, If nothing were there, NOTHING WOULD BE THERE.

Something is there.

Therefore, something is there between us.

We'll see what happens.