Men at Work

He is not your average Joe. He speaks with a comfortable easiness about him; he is unpretentious, not at all rude or obnoxious, but genuine and down-to- earth. Beneath his average wire-rimmed glasses, mussed up-hair, and old navy flip-flops, there is something extraordinary, though I can’t quite place what it is. I am drawn to him, yet cannot explain why. As I am talking to him, he is fully listening, gazing into my eyes, and when he responds to me, he is thoughtful, humorous, and wise beyond his years. Whenever we end our conversation, instead of feeling disappointment or frustration, I walk away smiling, even laughing, because he gives me those all too familiar butterflies.

I am talking about my new crush. His name is Joe and physically, he isn’t really my type, but mentally, he is my McDreamy. He is average height, probably even an inch or so shorter than me, with glasses, toussled hair, and bright blue eyes. He often wears plaid shirts, jeans, and flip-flops. Simple attire that hides his age. I learned yesterday he was 30 and I was shocked, since he still could probably pass for a college student. There is something both boyish and mannish about him at the same time.

I heard about Joe before I arrived at work, and people constantly told me to meet him. When I did, we shook hands, he looked into my eyes and I said, "You’re the infamous Joe Stevens." He laughed and admitted, "Yup, you got me." I’ve been exchanging emails with him lately and since he asked me to work under him for one of his projects, I was flattered and jumped at the chance to be closer to him. What is unique about him is that he remembers details, things I maybe have said once at work, that he refers to in conversations or asks me additional questions.

Of course, there’s always a catch. No, he isn’t gay and he doesn’t a girlfriend (that I know about). The disappointing part of the project situation is that I have to work with one of his friends: Matt.

Matt is the COMPLETE opposite of Joe: tall, big (not so much as in muscular, but just kind of large and in charge), and EXTREMELY pretentious. I could tell right away he didn’t like me. Any time I had a question or comment about the project, he would completely shoot me down and be utterly annoyed that I would even ask something so mundane. For example, I asked, "How did you select companies for your business proposal?" He responded, "We just couldn’t select them at random, if that’s what you’re implying. We wanted businesses that would actually respond." (Eye roll) Before I had a chance for rebuttal, Joe interjected and saved me. He commented that Matt was trying to say that my question was a great one and valid one, but one he wasn’t focusing on in this project. I thanked Joe and we continued the meeting as usual. Inwardly, I cursed the fact that he had to be friends with a pretentious person like Matt.

And the other thing I wondered about Matt and that often kept me up at night (jk) was if he was gay or straight. It was one of those borderline cases that needed further research for diagnosis. I spent most of the meeting staring at his clothing (I hope he didn’t think I was checking him out!), analyzing the liberal use of his hands, and any additional evidence of gayness.

Speaking of other men in my life....there is the bird man. The same man I wrote about in a previous entry (see: You're so Vain, you probably think this post is about you) who was so not my type at all. He and I are actually working on a project together, and I am happy to report that he is a decent human being. A bit creepy in a way I can’t really articulate, but otherwise okay. He invited himself over to my apartment but I quickly vetoed that idea. I think he gets that I do not want to be involved with him, despite his hints/coffee suggestions, etc. I also wore my clauddaugh ring with the crown facing up to denote my taken status (fictional of course) and wave my hands exaggeratedly for most of our time together.

In terms of men in my apartment, I don’t want any. Let me rephrase that. I don’t want any non drop-dead gorgeous men into my living space. Here’s the rationale: my apartment is a studio, so that the bed, kitchen table, and television are all in a 12 by 14 room. And there’s the additional awkwardness of it....I am worried that people will judge how I align my shoes under my bed, what type of DVDS are in my bookcase, if there’s anything sprawled out of place (which there is, thank you very much). Don’t judge me because I’m a little messy or may do the best of my writing in a towel. That’s right, I said it. I like to write with a towel wrapped around me, my favorite creative clothing item of choice. Honestly, it is the most comfortable thing ever. It is like a 100% cotton comfort dress. I enjoy nothing more than wrapping my immense stripped towel around myself out of the shower, sitting down, and letting the creative juices flow. Ahhh, the joys of not having a roommate (that's a whole 'nother entry people).

As you can see, at work, the men in my life are quite diverse. There’s bird man, who won’t be heckling me again as far as I can tell, and then Matt, the token gay/straight pretentious male. Yet, Joe keeps reappearing in my mind. He's going away on business this weekend, but I would like a chance to get to know him outside of work, maybe go bowling or do something low key that I am sure he would be up for. I know I may be taller than him or we may look unconventional together, but who the hell really cares? In the words of Sheryl Crow, "If it makes you happy, it can’t be that baaaa-aaad." If just talking and interacting with him makes me happy, I wonder what other part of his body would also delight me.....;)