Post-McDreamy: Enter Jesus Iscariot

Here is what happened after my platonic sleepover with McDreamy.

I believe the sleepover happened on the Friday or Saturday night before Senior Week. Over the next few days, I saw Round on occasion. It was occasionally good with him, but more often wasn't. The best souvenir I have of my time with him is a picture of him leaning over and pulling a dollar out of my boobs with his teeth. That was at a townhouse long after I passed the threshold of sobriety. At any rate, I didn't tell him about McDreamy. Why should I have? There was no point.

Let me explain that I don't understand those girls, especially the ones on Maury, who confess their cheating while crying hysterically, still proclaiming that they love their man and beg him to forgive them. If he's not going to find out -- if you are certain that absolutely NOBODY will tell him -- there's no reason for you to tell him. It will only hurt him, and you're only telling him because you feel guilty and think somebody else should make you feel guilty as well.

So why did I stay with him when I didn't care about him? Part of it was that I didn't want to break up with him when there was only a week left in college, and most of it was that he was going to be my date for the Senior Semiformal. (I don't think that I mentioned that he was a sophomore, but was still on campus because he was an RA and could move out whenever he wanted to.)

Anyways, we probably had a few very chilly sleepovers, and on Tuesday came the beginning of Senior Week activities. That night was Senior Pub Night, held right on campus, complete with dollar drafts and plenty of free drink tickets. Earlier that day was the "business casual" drinking event with the faculty, so most of us were still a little drunk and had only left to change or play a quick game of Beirut in someone's kitchen before returning.

It was a fun night -- I spent most of my time hanging out with various groups of friends, especially my friends from the chorus. I was involved in the chorus all four years and it had basically been my life at college. Surprisingly, there was a good amount of guys to choose from. While we did have the requisite gay population, there was an equal amount of straight guys as well. And after my first chorus hookup with a hot first tenor my freshman year, I made my goal.

Before graduation, I would hook up with all four male voice parts: Tenor 1, Tenor 2, Baritone and Bass.

It was easy at first. I had first tenor out of the way immediately, and that was one of the more difficult voice parts. The guy was a fellow freshman who always had a guitar in hand and gave performances in my dorm as doe-eyed girls drooled. I had had an immense crush on him, so hooking up with him was one of the best nights of my life. Definitely one of the top three first kisses, ever. And he played and sang Your Body Is A Wonderland afterward....but I digress.

Getting the voice parts seemed easy at first. I got a baritone that winter, and then had a relationship with a bass that lasted until the following winter. Then another baritone that spring. I went abroad for fall of junior year, and upon return hooked up with two more basses. Nobody -- and by that, I mean nobody NEW, if you know what I mean -- during senior year.

Altogether, there was one tenor 1, two baritones and three basses. No second tenors.

A bunch of my friends knew about my goal and joked with me about it. I would always joke about needed a second tenor, and would jokingly hit on a bunch of the second tenors, telling them my plan with a wink. The problem was, there was practically nothing to choose from by senior year. There were a few cute and straight ones, but they had girlfriends. A few others were gay (and not the type of gay guys that occasionally hook up with straight girls for laughs). And the remaining ones were definitely not the kind of guys I wanted to kiss -- think dorky freshmen.

Anyways, back to that night. I mainly hung out with chorus people. The night was full of surprises -- one of my good guy friends, who was hilarious and fun but extremely Catholic, with an extremely Catholic girlfriend who was a hilarious and fun as he was, had finally taken the plunge and they had had sex for the first time, three years into their relationship. ("I NOTICED YOU WEREN'T WEARING YOUR TRUE LOVE WAITS RING!!" I shrieked. I also have a really great picture of me and him from right after he told me, him smiling proudly and me with a shocked face, as if everything I had ever known had been destroyed.)

So basically, everybody was drinking a lot and getting progressively uninhibited. Then I started talking to Jesus Iscariot, a guy in the chorus. Jesus was pretty much the most revered guy in my class, winning huge awards for his devotion to community service, music and academics, as well as being known for how Catholic of a guy he was.

Jesus and I had always held a bit of tension between us that we both chose not to acknowledge. Not sexual tension or any kind of good tension -- bad tension. We were both expert musicians of the same instrument, although we went in different directions when it came to the kind of music we played. We both also gunned for top positions in the chorus. It seemed like were always trying to outdo each other musically, each trying to prove who was the better musician, but we were polite to each other, but never remotely close. We only talked at chorus parties while drunk.

I call him Jesus Iscariot because of his obvious devotion to religion and his being such a proper Catholic. But he had a dark side, as many do. I always remember him getting drunk freshman year and slurring, "Let's play spin-the-bottle!" and draping himself over my repulsed friend. There was always another side to Jesus Iscariot, and it tended to come out when drunk.

I should also mention that Jesus was a second tenor.

We started talking as we were drinking, and I joked, "Hey, you better watch yourself -- I still haven't gotten my second tenor!" He laughed and said, "So do you want to?"

"Seriously?"

"Yeah."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah."

"You're not kidding?"

"Nope."

"Um, let me go to the bathroom."

I went to the bathroom, peed, and thanked God my period had ended the week before. But I just couldn't believe it -- was Jesus Iscariot serious?! I had always avoided him as a hookup because of that uneasiness between us, and also because he used to have a girlfriend. He hadn't sung second tenor until sophomore or junior year, as well. And he wasn't that good-looking at all. He was tall, but had tiny, beady eyes and seemed to be a fifty-year-old trapped in a twenty-two-year-old's body.

I went back into the room and met up with him.

"Ready to go?" he asked me.

"Sure," I replied. And then I remembered Round. Forget it, I thought. This has been my goal for the past four years. I've been with Round for a month, tops. It's not going well. And besides, there was that McDreamy incident from a few nights before. (By the way, McDreamy and I had hung out a bit during the pub night, chatted a bit, but it didn't look like anything was going to happen in terms of a hookup.)

We left the pub night, as it was winding down, and walked down the path to the dorm where I had lived sophomore year. Jesus lived there sophomore year, too, and loved it so much that he stayed and became an RA. Because that was the kind of guy he was.

We walked silently, not touching. I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M GOING TO DO THIS!! I screamed inside my head. THIS IS JESUS ISCARIOT!! THE ADMINISTRATION LOVES HIM!! HE'S THE MODEL CATHOLIC!! EVERYONE KNOWS WHO HE IS!! EVERYONE LOOKS TO HIS EXAMPLE!! AND I AM NOT REMOTELY ATTRACTED TO HIM!!

We got to the dorm, empty of everyone except for RAs, and went into his room. He kissed me. My first kiss from Jesus Iscariot. He started taking my clothes off. His bed was lofted over his desk, so he brought me down onto his futon, but didn't open it, so we were positioned pretty awkwardly on it.

And then he got up, reached into his desk drawer and pulled out a condom.

Jesus Iscariot kept condoms in his desk.

The night was FULL of surprises.

It's not that I wasn't prepared -- those last few weeks, I had been always carrying a few condoms in my purse, just in case. But to know that the model Catholic had condoms in his desk....I honestly thought he was waiting until marriage, at least before he got his girlfriend sophomore or junior year or so.

And we began having sex on that uncomfortable futon, still folded up into a couch. We started out with him on me, then whirled me up on top of him. Before long he was behind me, and then behind me as we were on our sides, spoon-style. It was pretty good sex – not the best I’ve ever had, but still quite good. And he was a pretty good size, even though it curved the slightest bit. (Never had experienced that before – it was interesting.) I appreciated that very much, since I had been suffering some serious bad penis karma lately.

We had been having sex for a long time, and I was pretty impressed by his longevity. And then he flipped me over and we were doing it missionary style again, then me on top again, then doggie-style again, then spoon-style AGAIN....I was actually getting pretty tired. I knew I wasn’t going to finish, not in circumstances like that, especially because I had been drinking. And then Jesus told me essentially the same thing – that he was drunk and couldn’t come, but would I like to take a shower with him?

WOULD I LIKE TO TAKE A SHOWER WITH HIM?!

Oh my God.

This could easily have been disaster. Half the RAs in his dorm didn’t have private bathrooms, and we could have been walking down the hall, showering together in the dorm bathroom, and we could have walked out, only to see one of the priests who lived in the dorm coming down the hall. Oh my God. Their star student and me, coming out of a shower together....

But it didn’t happen like that. Jesus had an adjoining bathroom from his room. We didn’t even have to leave the room and walk next door, like Round did.

Round.

Yes, Round and Jesus Iscariot definitely knew each other. All the RAs did – they spent a few weeks bonding together before each school year. And at a school as small as mine, every RA not only knew each other RA, but knew all of them well. It was at this point that I realized just how serious this was. I had slept over with McDreamy, a guy Round didn’t even know, and we hadn’t done anything more than just hold each other. And now I had slept with a guy he knew well.

I got up to join Jesus in the shower.

That was really hot. I had showered with guys before, but it wasn’t nearly as sexy as it was at this time. For one thing, Jesus left the light off. And this wasn’t a large bathtub, but a small space. The water was hot. We started making out and feeling each other up, but nothing more serious than that. And it was HOT. And again I realized that often the sexiest thing isn’t having sex itself.

I was pressed against the wall of the shower facing away from the shower head. My hair was up in a bun and droplets of water were throughout. He was leaning over me and kissing me all over – my neck, my breasts, my face. Everything was hot and slippery. The water over our sweat made everything feel a little bit oily, and we slipped through each other’s arms. He asked me to go down on him, and I did, even though we had already been having sex. (I don’t recommend doing that afterward – the condom makes it taste like latex. Not pleasant, at least not at first.)

I did that for awhile, and then came up for air some number of minutes later. We then resumed what we had been doing for all the time before that, just feeling each other up and making out. And then I jacked him off and he came. We were in that shower for so long. I was pruny by the time we finished. I wondered if that added to the pleasure of being manually stimulated. It’s worth thinking about.

We got out of the shower and he gave me a towel. I dried off, then got dressed. He offered to drive me back to my apartment building. I thanked him but refused, and he insisted. It was a two-minute drive, compared to a ten-minute walk. I asked him if he was sober enough to drive, and he said yes, that by then he was all right. I agreed.

We left the building. This would have been the time that we would have seen anybody. But we didn’t. Of course, the security guys with their omnipresent hidden cameras probably saw us. They also knew all the RAs – and some of them knew that Round and I were together. But no priests, no seniors, no RAs were around as Jesus took me home.

I don’t remember exactly how I said goodbye. I would guess that I either gave him a peck on the lips or decided to be the more distant one and just smile and leave. One of those. I walked up to my apartment and fell into bed.

First thing in the morning, I texted my main gay and fellow chorus member and wrote, “Got a tenor 2.”

“Who?” he wrote back.

“Guess.”

“Iscariot?”

“Yep.”

He promptly called me, as incredulous as I was when Jesus first made the suggestion that we actually hook up.

I then told my roommate, as she was a fellow chorus member and felt the same way about Jesus as I did, as he had won an award she had been gunning for.

I then called my good friend Princess, another chorus member, and told her as well. She screamed.

And then Round came over. Unannounced.

To be continued....