We’ve all bore witness to it. And we’ve all had to take a moment to regain control of ourselves and makea concerted effort to hold back our lunches. The Public Display of Affection, or the PDA, as it has been reduced to by its most villainous perpetrators, is seeping into everyday culture.
And it’s not even just the lost-in-the-moment passionate kisses that popularize modern cinema occurring in public venues. The ones that make you have to look away in embarrassment or worse, stare intently like you’re watching a car wreck or inspecting road kill on the side of the road. Now, PDA’s are being inflicted upon the masses in writing.
I’ll admit it, I’m a compulsive away message checker. I like to know what my friends, family and people Ihaven’t spoken to in years are up to. But, imagine my horror when I click to get someone’s information, expecting to see some mundane activity and am instead treated to their equivalents of a Shakespearean sonnet, professing their great love not only to their significant other, but to the world.
The most recent culprit of this heinous display is an associate of mine from college and the team. We shall call her Moron and I will present to you her away messages from the past two days in their entirety with only alterations made by the author to protect the privacy of the guilty parties involved.
YESTERDAY’S LITTLE GEM: “Its crazy how much I miss you babe...... tommorow (sic) I will feel whole again though”
TODAY’S TIMELESS TREASURE: “Got to love it being still dark when you wake up......but at least I get to see[Mr. Moron] in less then 12 hours, I miss you soooooomuch luv (sic).”
I’ll give you a moment to let the full gaiety sink in.
I get it. You think he’s swell. You think you’re in love even though it hasn’t even been two months. And in the words of Rascal Flatts, “Baby I want the whole world to know/ Just what I’m all about/ I want to love you out loud” [Side note: This is actually one of my favorite songs, so I’m not a completely bitter hag]. And you know, that’s great. Being in love is great. And you may want to shout it from the rooftops, but it doesn’t mean the rest of the world wants to listen.
You may think that this is just the response generated by the jaded cynicism that affects most single women…and in truth, it probably could be. Who knows? If the roles were reversed, maybe I would feel so compelled to let the world know how crazy I am about my man. I mean, I’ll admit I’ve been guilty of it in the past…like when I was in high school.
So I’m going to take a stand right here, right now. Use this public forum to take back the sanctity of public for all mankind! Keep the D’s of A private, because nobody wants to see that.
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2 comments:
I love that Rascal flats song as well.
And yes, I will keep our forum PDA FREE!!!
Myspace and Facebook can be pretty bad with that, too. There's a(nother) guy at work that I like, and he has a girlfriend (though I think the relationship may be slowly unraveling). And she has, like, five of the seven comments on his myspace wall, and they're all, "I love you so much, baby!!! You are the best boyfriend ever!! I can't wait until we live together!!!" Ugh. I know it's his page, but PLEASE! Spare the REST of us!
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