Lately, I've been thinking that the best option for me is to establish a harem of men. This way, I can draw from it whenever I'm in the mood for a certain guy.
I've been dating two guys: the Cowboy and the Busker.
I met the Cowboy on an online dating site. He went to college in a state known for its population of cowboys, so he has a total cowboy accent and loves to wear cowboy hats and boots and stuff like that, but not so much in the city here -- mostly in college.
I like him a lot. He's cute, and our conversation is AWESOME. He's a really cool guy, and I love hanging out with him and talking with him. He's great.
The only problem is that I'm not sure that I feel attracted enough to him. We have tons of friendship chemistry but don't have much physical chemistry, which is a complete 180 from the Hott Waiter.
His height is a huge reason. I'm just about the average height for an American woman. His online dating profile said that he was two inches shorter than me. I should have known that ANY guy would exaggerate his height. He's actually exactly my height. EXACTLY. Which is tough for me. I wish it wasn't this way, but it's how it is.
He's also a year younger than me, so that's unusual for me as well. He still lives at home, too (yikes!) but will be moving out in a few months.
Now, the second guy is the Busker.
I was at a popular cafe in my neighborhood a few weeks ago with Miranda when we saw this attractive redheaded guy. I don't usually think redheaded guys are hot, but THIS guy was! I asked him if he was in line, he said no, and he moved back. He was with a girl, but they didn't seem to be together.
I joked to Miranda that we should put out a "missed connection" on Craigslist for him. Long story short, I did, and a week later, he responded. He didn't know who I was, but he said that he was in the cafe all the time. We exchanged several emails, I asked him details about himself, and they all matched up.
He busks for a career -- he plays his guitar and sings around our city, particularly in my neighborhood and surrounding neighborhoods. He also teaches lessons and does gigs at local bars, but he's mainly a busker. Sexy!
I was planning on going to a local bar last week, I told him, and he mentioned out of the blue that actually, he was supposed to play music there on that night.
Miranda and I went. It was AWESOME because we knew who he was and he had NO idea who I was!! WE HELD THE POWER!!!!
He texted me, telling me to finally show myself!
And then it happened.
He took off his hat.
He is completely bald on top.
DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT.
Still, aside from that, he's very good-looking and I was attracted to him.
I went up to him at the very end of the night to talk to him. I had been drinking quite a bit.
Me: "Hi."
Busker: "Samantha?"
Perfect. He was thinking of me all night.
We talked for a while, and we said we could call, text, meet up, etc.
A week later -- a few hours ago! -- we got a cup of coffee.
He had his hat on. I'm definitely attracted to him. The problem? We only hung out for about 40 minutes, and STILL, tons of people came up to him because he's so well known in the area -- including two girls who TOTALLY hung all over him and flirted with me!
I tried to stay neutral, because nothing can be less attractive to a guy when you get jealous, but it's tough in that circumstance.
We ended things with a hug and plans to meet up again.
I'd just like to hook up with him on a regular basis, no strings attached, have him be one of the guys in my harem.
We'll see how it goes with both him and the Cowboy.
Showing posts with label New Guys. Show all posts
Showing posts with label New Guys. Show all posts
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Whirlwind Romance with the Hott Waiter
It's been two weeks, and it has been fantastic.
In fact, I feel as if I don't want to write about it -- not in too much detail, anyway. I like holding it close to me, feeling like it's something special. I keep it special because I don't reveal too much.
Well, in the past two weeks, the Hott Waiter and I had our pivotal first date, we spontaneously met up at clubs twice, and we spent time at each other's places after that....
Here are a few things that struck me:
He is intensely, openly romantic. On our first date, he was holding my hand before we were halfway down the street. His arms were around me, he was actually playing footsie, and he was holding my hand across the dinner table.
I should have loved it, but it freaked me out!
"Listen," I said apologetically, him holding my hand across the dinner table, "I'm just not used to this."
"Do you want me to tone it down? I can stop--"
"No, no, no. It's good." I smiled. "I like it....I'm just not used to it. I need to relax." And I did relaxed. As time has gone on with us, I've gotten used to it, and I love it now.
There are so many other things. He won't let me walk over so much as a puddle -- he will pick me up and carry me across. He has no qualms about randomly feeding me in the middle of a restaurant, about reaching over to wipe something off my lips, about singing along with insanely romantic song lyrics while grinning at me.
It blows me away. There are times when I can't even breathe.
That is what's most notable about the Hott Waiter.
What's also notable is that, strangely enough, I've never dated a guy to whom I was really, really attracted. In fact, the majority of my relationships have been with guys who blindly adored me -- and while I loved the attention, I honestly wasn't attracted to them.
This is new. Because I am so attracted to the Hott Waiter, I am crazy nervous when I'm with him, and I completely clam up! It almost works out because he never stops talking. (Interestingly enough, my roommate just told me that maybe he talks that much because HE is nervous, too!)
It's weird. Because I'm so nervous, I feel like I can't fully be myself. At my most genuine self, I'm the crazy storyteller, making people laugh. I rack and rack my brain when I'm with him, and I can't think of any stories to tell.
I get paranoid when I'm not with him. I'll be nonchalant, but on the inside, I start freaking out and thinking, "NOW it's it. NOW he won't want to see me again. NOW he'll think I'm weird; NOW he'll think we'll be through."
But each time, we get together again and have an amazing time nonetheless.
Particularly these past two evenings. (My roommates are going to kill me.)
Am I setting myself up for failure? Am I trying to get myself to expect something bad because even if it fails, I can turn to myself and acknowledge that at least I was right all along?
I need to relax....
In fact, I feel as if I don't want to write about it -- not in too much detail, anyway. I like holding it close to me, feeling like it's something special. I keep it special because I don't reveal too much.
Well, in the past two weeks, the Hott Waiter and I had our pivotal first date, we spontaneously met up at clubs twice, and we spent time at each other's places after that....
Here are a few things that struck me:
He is intensely, openly romantic. On our first date, he was holding my hand before we were halfway down the street. His arms were around me, he was actually playing footsie, and he was holding my hand across the dinner table.
I should have loved it, but it freaked me out!
"Listen," I said apologetically, him holding my hand across the dinner table, "I'm just not used to this."
"Do you want me to tone it down? I can stop--"
"No, no, no. It's good." I smiled. "I like it....I'm just not used to it. I need to relax." And I did relaxed. As time has gone on with us, I've gotten used to it, and I love it now.
There are so many other things. He won't let me walk over so much as a puddle -- he will pick me up and carry me across. He has no qualms about randomly feeding me in the middle of a restaurant, about reaching over to wipe something off my lips, about singing along with insanely romantic song lyrics while grinning at me.
It blows me away. There are times when I can't even breathe.
That is what's most notable about the Hott Waiter.
What's also notable is that, strangely enough, I've never dated a guy to whom I was really, really attracted. In fact, the majority of my relationships have been with guys who blindly adored me -- and while I loved the attention, I honestly wasn't attracted to them.
This is new. Because I am so attracted to the Hott Waiter, I am crazy nervous when I'm with him, and I completely clam up! It almost works out because he never stops talking. (Interestingly enough, my roommate just told me that maybe he talks that much because HE is nervous, too!)
It's weird. Because I'm so nervous, I feel like I can't fully be myself. At my most genuine self, I'm the crazy storyteller, making people laugh. I rack and rack my brain when I'm with him, and I can't think of any stories to tell.
I get paranoid when I'm not with him. I'll be nonchalant, but on the inside, I start freaking out and thinking, "NOW it's it. NOW he won't want to see me again. NOW he'll think I'm weird; NOW he'll think we'll be through."
But each time, we get together again and have an amazing time nonetheless.
Particularly these past two evenings. (My roommates are going to kill me.)
Am I setting myself up for failure? Am I trying to get myself to expect something bad because even if it fails, I can turn to myself and acknowledge that at least I was right all along?
I need to relax....
Friday, November 09, 2007
Relationship Musings...
It's getting kind of late, and I've been feeling very introspective and very stream-of-consciousness lately. So I decided to jot down a few things I've learned over the years from my various relationships that I think are important for every young woman to know when approaching romantic relationships:
*Nobody wants to date Superman
When you're dating someone who has a problem, whether it be an affinity/addiction to drugs, a mental disorder like Depression, love isn't always enough. And you can never use your love to fix a problem. Sometimes caring isn't enough. You can't always be the hero and rescue someone from themselves and change them in order to fit them to the mold of the relationship. Saving someone is what great friends do, but most guys don't want to feel like they need to be taken care of by their woman.
*When a guy tells you that he has never told anyone that he loves them, and that he believes that he is "incapable of love," RUN.
Run far away. Don't convince yourself that you can be the one who will make him see the light and that one day he will be overcome by his emotions and profess his love for you. Much like dating a serial cheater and believing that you will somehow be the One who will change his philandering ways. By even admitting it, he's doing you a favor and giving you an out. Believe what he says, and end it there. If love is what you're looking for, a guy like this will never be able to give you what you need.
*Sexual attraction and a great friendship doesn't always translate into a solid relationship.
You can be friends and find each other attractive, but at the core, if there's no real compatibility in terms of what you want from a prospective partner, don't try to force something that's not there. Settle for a great friendship, and feel free to sprinkle in a little innocent flirtation here and there, just always make sure to set a boundary that you don't cross.
*Most guys DO want what they can't have.
How many times after you split from a guy do you just wish that one day he'll come to his senses and come back to you, begging for forgiveness and to give it another go? How many times do you attempt the tactic of being cold and distant and even pursuing casual relationships with other guys knowing it will get back to your ex? Realistically though, what do you expect to happen once he's overcome with jealously and starts chasing after you? Will all of the problems you had before suddenly melt away? Will you finally be able to keep him, after he came to see what he had lost?
Probably not. Which brings me to my next point.
*Break-ups happen for a reason.
They call them "break"-ups because the relationship is BROKEN. It's pretty much never worth giving it another go, because aside from a few extreme cases, whatever the roots of the problem that resulted in the initial break-up were, they will still be there. You can love someone with all your heart, but the only way to be fair to yourself and the other person, you need to recognize when a romantic relationship is impossible to maintain.
*Good things come to those who wait.
Every time a relationship ends, you feel utterly lost and hopeless. You feel like you'll never have another chance at love, and that feeling of desperation typically manifests into a desire for what was lost. Even if you got out of an unhealthy relationship, in retrospect, everything is romanticized in your sad and warped little mind, and you obsess over what you did wrong and how to get your Ex back. Let it go. There IS something better out there. And don't be afraid when it takes a little longer to find it. Despite what movies, television and magazines tell you, there is no definitive timeline of finding love. Don't pressure yourself to pursue dead-end relationships just to feel like you've found what everyone tells you you should be looking for. Never feel like you're the only single girl out there because you are not alone. And cherish your singledom and use it as an opportunity to realy get to know You, and what you really want out of life, love, relationships. Figure out what it is you want, what it is you need, and you'll find that when the next guy comes around, you won't have to waste your time and emotion on someone who isn't worth it.
*Never settle..
...for anything less than butterflies.
Ladies, I'm sure you have some other excellent personal philosophies you've cultivated for yourselves and your relationships over the years, so feel free to add your own musings to my list.
*Nobody wants to date Superman
When you're dating someone who has a problem, whether it be an affinity/addiction to drugs, a mental disorder like Depression, love isn't always enough. And you can never use your love to fix a problem. Sometimes caring isn't enough. You can't always be the hero and rescue someone from themselves and change them in order to fit them to the mold of the relationship. Saving someone is what great friends do, but most guys don't want to feel like they need to be taken care of by their woman.
*When a guy tells you that he has never told anyone that he loves them, and that he believes that he is "incapable of love," RUN.
Run far away. Don't convince yourself that you can be the one who will make him see the light and that one day he will be overcome by his emotions and profess his love for you. Much like dating a serial cheater and believing that you will somehow be the One who will change his philandering ways. By even admitting it, he's doing you a favor and giving you an out. Believe what he says, and end it there. If love is what you're looking for, a guy like this will never be able to give you what you need.
*Sexual attraction and a great friendship doesn't always translate into a solid relationship.
You can be friends and find each other attractive, but at the core, if there's no real compatibility in terms of what you want from a prospective partner, don't try to force something that's not there. Settle for a great friendship, and feel free to sprinkle in a little innocent flirtation here and there, just always make sure to set a boundary that you don't cross.
*Most guys DO want what they can't have.
How many times after you split from a guy do you just wish that one day he'll come to his senses and come back to you, begging for forgiveness and to give it another go? How many times do you attempt the tactic of being cold and distant and even pursuing casual relationships with other guys knowing it will get back to your ex? Realistically though, what do you expect to happen once he's overcome with jealously and starts chasing after you? Will all of the problems you had before suddenly melt away? Will you finally be able to keep him, after he came to see what he had lost?
Probably not. Which brings me to my next point.
*Break-ups happen for a reason.
They call them "break"-ups because the relationship is BROKEN. It's pretty much never worth giving it another go, because aside from a few extreme cases, whatever the roots of the problem that resulted in the initial break-up were, they will still be there. You can love someone with all your heart, but the only way to be fair to yourself and the other person, you need to recognize when a romantic relationship is impossible to maintain.
*Good things come to those who wait.
Every time a relationship ends, you feel utterly lost and hopeless. You feel like you'll never have another chance at love, and that feeling of desperation typically manifests into a desire for what was lost. Even if you got out of an unhealthy relationship, in retrospect, everything is romanticized in your sad and warped little mind, and you obsess over what you did wrong and how to get your Ex back. Let it go. There IS something better out there. And don't be afraid when it takes a little longer to find it. Despite what movies, television and magazines tell you, there is no definitive timeline of finding love. Don't pressure yourself to pursue dead-end relationships just to feel like you've found what everyone tells you you should be looking for. Never feel like you're the only single girl out there because you are not alone. And cherish your singledom and use it as an opportunity to realy get to know You, and what you really want out of life, love, relationships. Figure out what it is you want, what it is you need, and you'll find that when the next guy comes around, you won't have to waste your time and emotion on someone who isn't worth it.
*Never settle..
...for anything less than butterflies.
Ladies, I'm sure you have some other excellent personal philosophies you've cultivated for yourselves and your relationships over the years, so feel free to add your own musings to my list.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Waiting for the Call
I met a great guy on Friday night.
Is he tall, dark and skinny?
Well, he's definitely tall! He's over six feet. I wouldn't call him skinny, but he's thin. He's got some muscles, but I wouldn't call it an athletic build at all.
And he's blonde.
I've never gone for a blonde guy before.
But he's cute.
It was the perfect situation. I was out at the bar with two of my girlfriends, Blondie and Windy, and we met these two guys, Cute Guy and DJ. (I can't think of a decent nickname for Cute Guy yet -- time will tell -- but DJ is actually a DJ.)
Windy and DJ liked each other, so they spent much of the night together, culminating in kissing in the street as we waited for a cab. Cute Guy and I didn't so much as kiss, but it was rainy outside, so every now and then he would put his arms around me to shield me from the rain.
(Don't worry about Blondie -- a few weeks ago, she had met a guy of her own at the bar, so this worked out perfectly! We each met one guy!)
Windy had to get back to her place, so she got a cab first, and the rest of us got a separate cab. DJ was staying over with Cute Guy (unfortunately for Windy, DJ was visiting from out of state), and Blondie was staying over with me. In a twist of luck, Cute Guy lived pretty close to me! (He kept mentioning all night, "I can't believe you live so close to me.") Since Cute Guy was a shorter distance away, we decided to go to his place, and he'd drive us the rest of the way back.
Cute Guy has a dog.
I do not like animals, especially dogs.
I hope he didn't notice.
To be fair, the dog was friendly, and I guess one could say it was cute. Blondie thought so.
After a bit of time there, we headed back to my place and hung out for about an hour. We had to get up early the next day, so I apologized for being such a crappy host, and they left.
As I walked them out, I asked them if we were going to hang out again. They assured me that Windy had already invited them to her birthday celebration, set to take place this Saturday. Great. I don't remember if they asked for my number or if I offered it -- I wish I remembered!! -- but either way, Cute Guy put it in his phone.
That was Friday night.
It is now Monday night.
Is he going to call?!?!
The three-day waiting period has already passed!!
I thought that we got along great! He gave me a kiss on the cheek and hugged me before he left. When he was over, he sat next to me on the couch and leaned his head on my shoulder at one point. He held me in the rain. He seems to be into me.
Then why hasn't he called me yet?
I am so attracted to him. He's a manly man. He's not one of the usual dark, skinny, perfectly groomed guys that I usually like -- and I'm thrilled about it! Ooh, also, he used to be in the military. :-)
Okay. Back to waiting.
The World Series ended last night, and there were games on two of the past three nights since I've seen him. It was the Boston Red Sox vs. the Colorado Rockies, and if I'm not mistaken, I believe he's a Red Sox fan. Being a guy (and a manly man!) he must have watched them. That's probably a good reason why he didn't call me.
Now, here are a few other factors:
--Windy and DJ have each other's numbers
--Windy and DJ friended each other on Facebook
--Through Windy, I friended DJ on Facebook
--I found DJ's Myspace through Facebook
--I found Cute Guy's Facebook and Myspace profiles through DJ -- but they're both set to private
Since I don't have his number, I think I'm going to friend Cute Guy on Facebook tomorrow. I was going to yesterday, but Windy suggested waiting until tomorrow.
Thoughts???? What do I do now?!?!?!?! I really like this guy! I like him a lot more than most guys I meet!
Is he tall, dark and skinny?
Well, he's definitely tall! He's over six feet. I wouldn't call him skinny, but he's thin. He's got some muscles, but I wouldn't call it an athletic build at all.
And he's blonde.
I've never gone for a blonde guy before.
But he's cute.
It was the perfect situation. I was out at the bar with two of my girlfriends, Blondie and Windy, and we met these two guys, Cute Guy and DJ. (I can't think of a decent nickname for Cute Guy yet -- time will tell -- but DJ is actually a DJ.)
Windy and DJ liked each other, so they spent much of the night together, culminating in kissing in the street as we waited for a cab. Cute Guy and I didn't so much as kiss, but it was rainy outside, so every now and then he would put his arms around me to shield me from the rain.
(Don't worry about Blondie -- a few weeks ago, she had met a guy of her own at the bar, so this worked out perfectly! We each met one guy!)
Windy had to get back to her place, so she got a cab first, and the rest of us got a separate cab. DJ was staying over with Cute Guy (unfortunately for Windy, DJ was visiting from out of state), and Blondie was staying over with me. In a twist of luck, Cute Guy lived pretty close to me! (He kept mentioning all night, "I can't believe you live so close to me.") Since Cute Guy was a shorter distance away, we decided to go to his place, and he'd drive us the rest of the way back.
Cute Guy has a dog.
I do not like animals, especially dogs.
I hope he didn't notice.
To be fair, the dog was friendly, and I guess one could say it was cute. Blondie thought so.
After a bit of time there, we headed back to my place and hung out for about an hour. We had to get up early the next day, so I apologized for being such a crappy host, and they left.
As I walked them out, I asked them if we were going to hang out again. They assured me that Windy had already invited them to her birthday celebration, set to take place this Saturday. Great. I don't remember if they asked for my number or if I offered it -- I wish I remembered!! -- but either way, Cute Guy put it in his phone.
That was Friday night.
It is now Monday night.
Is he going to call?!?!
The three-day waiting period has already passed!!
I thought that we got along great! He gave me a kiss on the cheek and hugged me before he left. When he was over, he sat next to me on the couch and leaned his head on my shoulder at one point. He held me in the rain. He seems to be into me.
Then why hasn't he called me yet?
I am so attracted to him. He's a manly man. He's not one of the usual dark, skinny, perfectly groomed guys that I usually like -- and I'm thrilled about it! Ooh, also, he used to be in the military. :-)
Okay. Back to waiting.
The World Series ended last night, and there were games on two of the past three nights since I've seen him. It was the Boston Red Sox vs. the Colorado Rockies, and if I'm not mistaken, I believe he's a Red Sox fan. Being a guy (and a manly man!) he must have watched them. That's probably a good reason why he didn't call me.
Now, here are a few other factors:
--Windy and DJ have each other's numbers
--Windy and DJ friended each other on Facebook
--Through Windy, I friended DJ on Facebook
--I found DJ's Myspace through Facebook
--I found Cute Guy's Facebook and Myspace profiles through DJ -- but they're both set to private
Since I don't have his number, I think I'm going to friend Cute Guy on Facebook tomorrow. I was going to yesterday, but Windy suggested waiting until tomorrow.
Thoughts???? What do I do now?!?!?!?! I really like this guy! I like him a lot more than most guys I meet!
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Turning over a New Leaf
Midge flew into town as i was concluding the two week training period at my new job. It was different from any other establishment I'd ever worked in and as the days wore on, the group of employees grew closer and our urges to be sociable also grew. With just a few days to go, we decided that we should start hanging out after we got out of work.
Now in a social setting, I began to see my co-workers in a new light. Namely, I started to notice that some of the guys were very attractive. The one I deemed cutest had a girlfriend, so I moved on to other pursuits. I brought Midge out with me to point out Chubs, the stinky annoying guy I already detested, as well as Rocky, named for the striking similarities he bore to the title character in The Rocky Horror Picture Show. He was... a bit of a meathead, muscular, but not the most eloquent with words and, the major resemblance? He lacked a belly button. Seriously. When he was born, his organs were outside of his body and he has a scar when they were sewn back in, where the belly button would traditionally be found.
After consuming numerous alcoholic beverages and flirting with Rocky as well as a couple of other guys, I began discussing the fuckability of Rocky with Midge. We both agreed that I could use a rebound, one that actually lived in the same state as me. And before I knew it, I had Rocky pinned up against the wall of the club and was making out with him like our plane was going down in flames.
It didn't go past that, but that night left me rejuvenated with a new vigor. I didn't need McRugby any longer. There were plenty of other guys out there, and who knows? Maybe I'd just found one at my new job.
Now in a social setting, I began to see my co-workers in a new light. Namely, I started to notice that some of the guys were very attractive. The one I deemed cutest had a girlfriend, so I moved on to other pursuits. I brought Midge out with me to point out Chubs, the stinky annoying guy I already detested, as well as Rocky, named for the striking similarities he bore to the title character in The Rocky Horror Picture Show. He was... a bit of a meathead, muscular, but not the most eloquent with words and, the major resemblance? He lacked a belly button. Seriously. When he was born, his organs were outside of his body and he has a scar when they were sewn back in, where the belly button would traditionally be found.
After consuming numerous alcoholic beverages and flirting with Rocky as well as a couple of other guys, I began discussing the fuckability of Rocky with Midge. We both agreed that I could use a rebound, one that actually lived in the same state as me. And before I knew it, I had Rocky pinned up against the wall of the club and was making out with him like our plane was going down in flames.
It didn't go past that, but that night left me rejuvenated with a new vigor. I didn't need McRugby any longer. There were plenty of other guys out there, and who knows? Maybe I'd just found one at my new job.
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