Sexual Quirks

We all have our little quirks when it comes to sex. Something that we do that isn't the most conventional or even acceptable in the intimate environment of the bedroom. Some people are into talking dirty, role-playing, bondage, S&M, furries/plushies, incorporating certain bodily fluids... I won't go into any more specifics, you get the idea.

Me? I'm a giggler.

I have this horrible habit of laughing uncontrollably in the middle of sex. I'm not really quite sure what it is that makes me act this way, but the best theory I could come up with traces back to my high school years.

My mother worked late and we had cable, and while I was home alone, I used to stay up late watching Skinemax.* I didn't watch it for any sexual reasons, I didn't find it to be a turn-on by any means. I just loved the ridiculous plots and horrible acting. To segue off, I'll recant a favorite Skinemax flick of mine. It was about a team of sexy scientists who discovered an alien plant that thrived off of the pheromones in the sweat produced by the fornication of humans. So the plant sent out pheromones of its own to promote sexual activity. And when all of the sexy scientits are exposed to the plant they all began fucking one another. Men and women, women and women, men and men, three ways, even the (sexy) janitor got in on the fun! The dialogue was hilariously projected and I don't know any movie that's ever made me laugh quite so hard. I can't remember the name of the movie, but if anyone out there knows, please inform me, otherwise the mystery will plague me.

I also worked in a library in high school, shelving books. I worked 4 hours shifts, but my actual work only took me about an hour to complete. With three hours to kill, I would typically hang out on the basement floor perusing the massive non-fiction seciton. And what section was the most interesting? The sex books! I was an introverted conservative girl, so I was curious. And the illustrations you find in these books? Also hilarious!

To get back on track to my current state, I'm pretty sure my childish takes on my limited sexual exposure growing up most likely accounts for my regrettable quirk I face in all present day bedroom romps.

I thought the laughter during sex wasn't a completely horrible thing. I'd always read in Cosmo that it was good to have a sense of humor about these things. And I was also a big fan of having an open dialogue between sexual partners. I guess what I hadn't really grasped was the filter I needed to incorporate before my openness and happy-go-lucky attitude crossed the lines of charmingly quirky to alarmingly inappropriate. I'd also managed to control my laughter to the occasional giggle, but I crossed a line the first time I ever went to bed with Dandy.

Granted, the first night we slept together was following the group dinner where we all got tanked and then went to the local dive bar to get even more hammered. I was a drunken mess that night, so I don't think that I should be held fully accountable for my lack of tact.

Prior to this night, I had been sort of coy and playing hard to get with Dandy. We'd made out a few times, but I had refused to let it get past those first base trysts in my car. I was trying to exercise some caution following the Rocky debacle. I thought it woud be better to delay the sleepovers, even platonic ones (platonic meaning, no sex because clearly when you've spent all night making out with someone you're interested in, the sleepover will never really be "platonic"), for fear of losing Dandy's respect.

Clearly with my alcohol intake, I threw caution to the wind that night. So, we went back to Dandy's house and stumbled into his room, making out and pawing at one another, tearing off clothes, being completely sloppy drunk all the while, I'm sure. As soon as we started having sex, I started laughing.

And laughing.

And laughing.

Laughing harder now.

Still laughing.

Dandy is still trying his hardest here to be sexy and manly and whatnot.

I answer back with laughter.

Uproarious laughter.

He finally asked what I was laughing at.

First, I said, between laughs, "Sex is funny."

Then, between more laughs and gasping for air, "And you made a funny face."

Still laughing, Dandy decided that this would be an appropriate time to give up trying and roll over and go to sleep. So we did.

The next morning, Dandy confessed that that had never happened to him before and he didn't quite know how to react. I tried to reassure him that I laugh all the time, and pointed out that it wasn't as bad as if I had cried. He conceded that that was true, and we stopped talking about it.

Then a few days later, I was out on the patio having a cigarette with his roommate when he asked me why I laughed non-stop during sex. Apparently, I had scarred Dandy for life. A few more of his friends asked me about it, and I couldn't really provide a satisfactory answer. I mean, I was drunk and I do think sex is funny, and it wasn't really a reflection on him or his skills, it was just a combination of several factors all jumbled in a girl's drunken mind.

I've since gotten better about laughing during sex, and since that one night with Dandy never had a time where I laughed constantly and without pause. I'll still chuckle occasionally because sometimes silly things happen or there's a funny noise, and you have to kind of laugh at it. You just also have to know when to control your laughter.

*For those of you unfamiliar with the term, Skinemax refers to the latenight softcore pornography you can find on Cinemax. God Bless it.