You might not remember McMarried, but I wrote about him in my very first post in September (scroll down if need be). He's gorgeous, tall (6'3"), muscular, incredibly kind and intelligent . . . .unfortunately, he's married. And also unfortunately, I've been running into him everywhere---all around the business. I ran into him at the library last week and in the department office. He also saw me in the gym a couple days ago and I was uber-embarrassed. Me, dripping with sweat, and him, just coming in for a run. But on these occasions, as I appear awkward and withdrawn as ever, he is always smiling and ready to say hello. That's what makes me like him even more.
This afternoon, in fact, I was showing my parents the recreational center near my apartment, and I was heading up the stairs, leaving the recreational center, when I glimpsed him coming down. I didn't want to acknowledge him, so I pretended I didn't see him and looked down as he walked by me. I couldn't get away---he playfully swung the sweatshirt he was holding in his hands into me so I was forced to look up into his alluring blue eyes. "Hey Miranda," he said warmly, as I responded, "Hi McMarried, how are you?" as casually as I could muster. He lingered on the stairs, and I could tell he wanted to talk, but I continued to walk faster, not wanting to engage in conversation, and I noticed what had to be his parents coming down the stairs after him. My parents wanted to know IMMEDIATELY who he was. My mom was all over him..."What does he do? Where is he from?" I said matter of factly his business position, and also added, "he's married, he lives with his wife."
This is just the type of girl I am. Because I know he is MARRIED, I am trying NOT to like him. That's why I distance myself from him, not wanting to talk to him that much inside or outside of business. I don't want to like him more than I already do. I don't know if he senses my uncomfortability around him, but regardless, he is still warm and genuine, and that makes me like him even more. Part of me wishes he would be mean or arrogant so I can be turned off.
I mean, is it possible to be friends with him?? I'm just afraid of myself more than him. Afraid of falling for him the more I get to know him. I just don't know.....
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This is really tough, Miranda. I wish I knew what to say. I'm in a bit of a similar situation with Seamus, only the thing is that he's not married but has a girlfriend to whom he's EXTREMELY devoted. I'm going to guess that trying to keep yourself away from him is going to make it worse, because you're actively trying. It's okay to like him. And your feelings may even change as time goes on. For now, just continue being nice to him and being friends. I know you would NEVER try to come on to him or do anything remotely like that, so it's not like you'd be doing anything wrong.
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