Saturday, October 21, 2006

The 30 year old virgin (or 2 girls, a guy, and a martini bar)

Last night I went out with two people from business, Birdman and Betsy. Since we had worked together on a business project, Birdman suggested that we go out to dinner and have drinks as a group to relax/be social. I'm not a particular fan of Birdman outside of the firm, but Betsy is an absolute riot. She's completely extraoverted, warm, welcoming, and is positively hilarious, so I jumped at the chance to hang out with her.

I picked her up and we went to meet Birdman in the city. Since we had about a fifteen minute drive, Betsy cut right to the chase and we dished who was dating in the office; she spilled all about her past dating history and relationships. She completely agreed with me that McMarried was gorgeous, and we both lamented his current taken status. But, since Betsy is naturally very open (i.e. willingly to disclose a lot of information about herself), she confessed something that positively shocked me.

She told me she didn't want to have sex until she was married.

Maybe it wasn't this exact phrase that surprised me. I mean, we hear this ALL THE TIME from friends, acquantences, and even celebrities. But, for A LOT of people, it's just a phrase and they don't actually follow through with this promise. However, for Betsy, I was most amazed/shocked that has followed through (thus far anway).

Betsy is 30, and has dated different types of guys (all races, colors, creeds). She was very upfront about her sexual policy; some men were respectful, while others wanted nothing to do with her. She was tall, blond haired, blue-eyed, and was certainly considered attractive...nowhere near the female version of Steve Carrell in the 40 year old virgin.

Why was I so shocked? I think it was because in our society today, everyone just expects that the time you graduate college, you will have lost your virginity. And Betsy still had her virginity and her Christian morals intact (bad pun, I know). And what was more surprising was that she was proud and open about it. She wasn't afraid or embarrassed that she was 30 and hadn't had sex yet. She embraced it, and I admired her for that.

Her story is not to say that it's only one way. I also admire people who are "sexually free," people like Samantha (from Sex and the city) who have sex whenever they want with whoever is willing, and just don't judge others. That also is an admirable quality.

So there it is. Just putting it out there. You never know who's a virgin...and who isn't. And sometimes, you're pleasantly or refreshingly surprised when you realize people do things that may not mesh with what society dictates.

1 comment:

Carrie said...

Honestly, I love hearing about older people who are still virgins. Not to beat a dead horse, but I think sex has really been reduced to purely recreational activities without emotions and I think that's so sad.

When I had sex with a guy I didn't care about, it left me feeling kind of empty inside. I guess if you can have sex without feelings, more power to you, but for me, it's so much more satisfying to wait til you have someone really special to share it with.