Monday, April 14, 2008

He has a kid, and, the latest

Here is the latest news on the multiple guys I am dating:

1) The Cowboy: We haven't seen each other since the night at his house, but we have talked on the phone a few times.

The situation is the same: I love talking to him and we have AWESOME friendship chemistry. However, I don't feel any desire to be more romantically involved with him. I have to figure out how to tell him how I feel.

2) The Busker. We haven't talked since that one time we went out, but he emailed me (though I didn't respond), thenI got a bit drunk and texted him with "How YOU doin?" How Joey Tribbiani of me.

We talked a bit this weekend. He revealed that he has a seven-year-old daughter staying with him this week. I've never dated someone with a kid.

3) The Math Guy. This is a guy from college. (He majord in math.) He's a year younger than me and living in our city now. He's always had a slight thing for me. Once during college, things got flirty and I kissed him a few times, then realized it was a mistake when he was trembling and realized it meant more to him than it did to me.

Things have always been moderately flirtatious, but I'm not sure what I want with him.

He keeps asking me to go out with him and get some drinks, and we made plans for the next week. However, he had health problems (??) and asked me to postpone our plans. I'm not that interested in him, but I'd like to hang out with him.

4) Alabaster. The guy from work that I wrote about in a recent entry. This part is major.

In my company, I work for my company's biggest client. The client is so big that we have two divisions: the elite and the not-so-elite. I will call the elite division Division A; the other is Division B.

I was promoted to Division A within a few months. Alabaster was promoted a few months later. Several months after that, he was promoted to a manager of Division B.

(Personally, I find that my company tends to promote straight white guys, a minority within my company, much more than any other group, but that's another topic for another time.)

I found out today that Alabaster was promoted to manager of Division A. That means that he will technically be one of my managers. I will retain my current manager, but she is one of four managers within my division. For that reason, Alabaster, will be one of my bosses.

I wasn't at work today, but I spent time with a very good friend from work, "Emelia," who told me the news. After a few drinks (I had SEVERAL today, and considering that it's Monday, that therefore makes me an alcoholic), I started texting him. As usual.

I texted him congratulations on his new position, and joked that I couldn't believe that he was my new boss. After a few texts, he called me. I was in the bathroom at the time.

As soon as I got back to my seat (after multiple margaritas at a Mexican restaurant, we were tossing back Blue Moons in a total dive bar), Emelia told me that Alabaster had called while I was away. I called him.

He answered.

We talked for several minutes and discussed his new position at work. I congratulated him. He was gracious. And then he totally told me something that I didn't expect. This is as close to verbatim as I can remember:

Alabaster: "I told [my boss and your boss's boss] that I couldn't have you on my team because it was a conflict of interest."

Me: "Are you serious?!"

Alabaster: "Yeah. I told him that we have a 'previous pre-existing relationship.'"

Me: "You told [your boss and my boss's boss] that?! He's so weird! There's one only thing that can mean!"

Alabaster: "Well..."

Look. It has been WELL OVER A YEAR since we hooked up.

That conversation gives me hope that something else could happen. As I always remind myself when it comes to all relationships, If nothing were there, NOTHING WOULD BE THERE.

Something is there.

Therefore, something is there between us.

We'll see what happens.

1 comment:

Carrie said...

My thoughts on the men of the hour:

The Cowboy
You just gotta make your intentions clear in the kindest way possible. And you can continue to hang out with him, just eliminate any flirtatious banter, touching, and don't put yourself in any situations that may inspire him to make any romantical moves on you.

The Busker
The fact that he has a child puts the lack of communication as of late into a new light. The tough thing about a guy with children is that you have to understand that sometimes you have to take a backseat to the kids. That's not to say that you won't be important to him, but if he makes you number one over his own children, it actually means he's an asshole and you wouldn't want to associate with him anyway. The most important thing is to have open lines of communication because you are both in very different places in your lives, and there will be many instances of misunderstandings because it will be difficult at times to understand each other's perspectives at times.

Math Guy
Sounds like a Cowboy v. 2.0. It doesn't seem like you're really attracted to him, and if he still likes you as much as he did, it might not be the best idea to give him false hope. Especially if he has severe health problems... I dunno what they are, but that sounds like a set of emotional baggage I wouldn't want to be weighed down with. By all means, hang out with him as friends, but like with the Cowboy, I suggest being extremely upfront and completely clear with your intentions.

This is a touchy situation because even if he's not technically supervising you, this could be chalked up to a conflict of interest because he is a superior in your division. I say that you have to dedicate a significant amount of time to feeling out the situation before you accidentally do something to compromise either of your integrity in the office. You're both fairly new and recent recipients of upgrades so you don't want to jeopardize your credibility and reputation in the workplace over something that could be a fluke.