I don't trust myself at the reunion.

My high school reunion is coming up in a few weeks, and I'm nervous.

Part of me wants to do that Beyonce master cleanse, eating nothing but a mixture of lemon juice, maple syrup, cayenne pepper and hot water for 10 days or so. I've got a bit of a chub problem, particularly in the arms, as was recently evidenced in pictures from a night out last week.

Maybe I'll just get some Spanx.

Anyway, I don't trust myself NOT to hook up with anyone.

The reunion is not too far from my apartment, since I made the unoriginal decision to live in the major city near the town where I grew up. Because of that, I have three friends staying over
with me after the event, including Miranda.

Which means that asking a guy back will be REALLY hard.

Oh, God.

I KNOW IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN. I'm going to hook up with somebody at the reunion.

Another thing -- you guys know that you started joking that I was going to hook up with a guy. Let's call him Oxy for the reason that he tried to rob a store for oxycontin back in high school before dropping out just before graduation. And I never thought of him -- but as soon as you guys started saying that, more and more, I've been thinking about him....

Oh, God, I can't do this.