Failed Booty Call Attempt

On Saturday night, as I arrived at the bar downtown, I was in a mood. A horny mood, I guess, for lack of a better term.

At any rate, I WANTED TO HOOK UP.

The day before, I had been exchanging text messages with a former coworker. He is tall and blonde, well built, from a very rural U.S. state and likely of Scandinavian descent. I need a nickname for him.

Nature Boy. He LOVES the outdoors.

Nature Boy and I didn't work in close proximity, but we had gotten into the habit of walking to the nearest public transit station, about a ten-minute walk. We had become good friends during that time -- I even told him about when I hooked up with Alabaster.

I knew that he was new in the city, having moved here from his rural state to be with his girlfriend of a few months, a girl he had met at a summer job in a national park. She was a college senior (this was our first winter after college) at the college right down the street from my apartment.

Oh -- also, we share the same birthday. Which I found special.

I always assumed that he and his girlfriend wouldn't last. Though he wasn't really my type (I'm not into blonde guys, and he had a VERY slight, strange effeminate quality to him -- I assume it's because of where he is from), there was a chemistry that we had.

He quit his job early last spring, about a year ago, and I had only seen him a few times since. We kept in touch via Facebook. He and his girlfriend broke up over the summer. At least I was right about that.

There were two moments of heavy flirtation between us.

The first was his farewell party at the bar the day he quit, about a year ago. He was still with his girlfriend at the time, but she wasn't at the table. After quite a few beers and shots, I whipped out my phone to text (I'm the worst drunk texter) and he grabbed me. We were walking to the next bar.

"Are you doing a booty call?" he said, grabbing the phone out of my hand. "Are you texting Alabaster? You are, aren't you?"

"No!" I shrieked. I dove for the phone and snatched it out of his grip. I then took off like a bat out of hell.

Nature Boy ran after me and threw his arms around me, clamping my arms down. He then stopped trying to grab the phone and just held me from behind. "Sam, if you're doing a booty call, it better be with me," he said into my ear.

I broke away. "You really shouldn't say that."

We then got to another bar and Alabaster wasn't there, and then I drank tequila and that was a very, very bad idea indeed....

The other time, over the summer and after he and his girlfriend had broken up, we were at a bar with a few friends and somehow ended up holding hands. He left shortly after that. Nothing else happened.

So, here we go:

This past Saturday night:


Nature Boy and I texted each other several times. Here are a few excerpts:

Nature Boy: "how have you been samantha?"

Me: "Great! [job news]! how have you been?"

Nature Boy: "Glad to hear that, we should hang out sometime soon"

Me: "I concur. it has been far too long since we did something."

Nature Boy: "Yes, i've missed you"

A few minutes later after more small talk:

Nature Boy: "Going out to the new bar in [neighborhood kind of far from me] that replaced [the bar where I first went with Alabaster the time we first hooked up] - out of your way, but if you're in the area"

Me: "[the bar where I first went with Alabaster the time we first hooked up] closed? headed to [downtown lounge] in [downtown neighborhood] tonight. with [work] people!"

We talked a bit more. After checking with his friend:

Nature Boy: "Looks like i'll see you tonight"

Yes!

I felt like it was going to actually happen with Nature Boy this time. I did my heavy-duty primping: in addition to the full-body shave that I do just in case I end up hooking up with someone, I also used my special moisturizer, wore the good perfume, pulled out all the stops on my makeup and hair.

I had been planning to meet up with several of my female friends from work, and I did. I figured the guys would arrive later. I immediately sucked down one martini and ordered a second.

And the guys arrived: Nature Boy and a mutual former coworker of ours. It was great. No hugs in greeting, but lots of great conversation.

We talked for a long time, the three of us floating around to the other groups. There were about 12 of us altogether, and we kept having conversations with different groups.

At one point, my friend "Nadia" (she's appeared in earlier entries regarding the Hott Waiter) pulled me aside.

"Sam, he has a girlfriend."

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck," I replied. "No wonder he was just looking for friendship on Facebook."

"Yeah, he's with Gisele." Gisele? That was an odd couple. Gisele is a dancer who used to work with both of us, but had left quite a long time ago. There's my job for you. One big incestuous family.

I went back to Nature Boy and talked to him in a new light -- he was just a friend. And I had to push the threesome fantasies involving him and his friend out of my head. And the guys then returned to their neighborhood, presumably to hang out with more people from our work, but I refused the invitation.

At any rate, I still had to hook up with someone -- anyone!

The few attractive guys at the lounge had dispersed. I lamented my cause to my friends, who nodded sympathetically and at least attempted to humor me.

Then they decided to leave.

WTF?! The night was YOUNG! I was only two martinis into the evening!

As we waited in the nearby station, I contemplated going to one of my neighborhood bars, then realized that it would make me look like an alcoholic and/or prostitute.

WAIT! THE BUSKER!

I told my friends that I don't know why I hadn't thought of the Busker! I was really attracted to him and didn't see him as relationship material, so he would be perfect.

I texted him: "Hey -- i'm in the mood to hook up tonight. are you?"

A few minutes later: "ha- thats such a hot text. Yes but im in bed kind of sick"

FUCK.

Some texts and a convo later, I learned that he was sick in bed but "recovering." At that point, I just got annoyed. "Are you sick or not?" I asked. "Is this going to happen or not? Just tell me. Okay. I'm guessing it's a no."

"Yeah..." he said sheepishly. I didn't like his tone. Awkward city. "I'm sorry. Sweet dreams. Hehehehehe."

Sweet dreams?

Damn. Well, it's hard having interest in him anymore. I went to bed, defeated.

Little did I know that the next night I would end up fulfilling one of my deepest desires.

Trapped in a Non-Relationship

Somewhat awkward moment today: I was walking home from the subway and I ran smack into the Busker. I haven't seen him, nor have I spoken to him, since our date a week ago.

He was on the phone. I had my iPod on. We mouthed, "Hi," and moved on.

This is why I have to stop dating guys in my neighborhood. I can't swing a dead cat without hitting one of them.

I've been continuing to see the Cowboy. And, truth be told, I'm not quite sure why. I think I've established that I'm really not that attracted to him. His height is a huge factor when it comes to that. I wish I could get past it, but I just can't. He's too short.

I am well aware of my dating patterns and I know that staying with someone to whom I'm not attracted is a recipe for disaster. It's been bad enough times. But he's a cool guy and I like hanging out with him. He keeps me entertained.

The other day, I told him that I feel a bit guilty that we always hang out in my neighborhood. He suggested that I come over. He still lives at home, but his parents wouldn't be home this weekend -- they would be away. I agreed to it.

I went to visit him on Sunday, and although we originally planned on sometime before 5, we changed to 7.

I called him when I was almost there to let him know.

"And your parents are still away, right?" I asked.

"Um...they're back now," he told me.

"Oh," I said, my voice hollow. "Oh....okay."

I did not want to meet his parents.

I actually told the Cowboy the other night that I wasn't interested in pursuing a relationship. He told me that he was pretty go-with-the-flow, take-it-as-it-comes.

I was not going to meet the parents of a guy I wasn't even seeing exclusively.

I got to his house. He was inside. I could see his father outside to the left. He didn't introduce us. When we went inside, I could tell that there were people in other rooms, but he must have told them to stay put.

I met his two dogs -- both golden retrievers. One VERY large one and one cute little puppy. I don't like dogs except for the occasional puppy.

I think he could tell because the large one jumped on me and kept trying to lick me everywhere. I think the Cowboy could tell how I felt because I had an expression of disgust and contempt on my face, then went to wash my hands as soon as he restrained the large dog.

"Wow, you really don't like dogs," he said, a bit surprised and amused.

"Well, I told you I wasn't an animal person," I told him. "I guess I didn't tell you just how much."

(To be fair, the little puppy then snuggled in between my ankles, and I found that very cute, for an animal.)

We went upstairs to the attic, where he has a pseudo-suite. After hanging out for a bit, I relaxed, and he kissed me. The kisses are weird -- he always initiates them, and it would never occur to me to do so.

AND HE'S SHORT!

We went out and grabbed dinner. It was fun.

I just don't know what to do. This is never going to be a relationship. But I don't want to hurt him. I'd like to stay friends with him. I don't know how to go about this!!